Boys Don't Wear Pink

While out shopping for your friend’s baby shower, you stroll by the banners. After considering whether or not draping a giant banner across the doorway is a tacky entrance, you opt for the blue banner with ducks displayed at the corners. The letters read “IT’S A BOY!” in comic sans font, as if a four year old had written the words himself. Your other friend is already waiting in line, holding some pretty pink yarn. As you meet her in line, you ask what the yarn is for. “I decided I’m going to surprise her by knitting a blanket for the new baby” she explains. You smile at the sweet thought, but then crinkle your nose at the sight of the yarn again. “Are you sure you want that pink yarn?” you question. “After all, the baby is going to be a boy. And boys don’t wear pink”.

This is just one example of a gender stereotype in our society. The concept that blue equals boy and pink equals girl is the start of shaping your child into the typical mold that is male or female. The crazy thing is, we begin sculpting these gender stereotypes even before the baby is born. Because god forbid we have a room painted pink for a baby boy. Then, once the child is born into this world of convoluted opinions and pre thought out judgment, we sculpt their mind into agreeing and following these idiotic rules. The idea that something so measly like a color, or a toy, decides a gender, is pathetic for a society as intellectual as we claim to be. Gender stereotypes have been around for ages, and we see examples of them daily. Fortunately for us, our society has made some crucial changes in the way we think regarding gender clichés.  

We see stereotypes in the classroom, at the bar, in our home, at work, everywhere we turn. A common stereotype in our society is that the men are made to work, and the women are made to cook, clean, and care for the family. When women do have jobs with high positions, rude remarks to describe her are used. While a man with a prestigious position is simply doing what he was meant to do. In the classroom, boys are thought to be louder, and less intelligent than girls. At the dinner table, the daughter is the most likely to help clean up the dishes, while the son boasts to his grandparents about his new girlfriend, or whatever sport he is excelling in. A man is expected to approach a woman at the bar, and offer to buy her a drink while schmoozing. But if a woman walks up to a man, complimenting his shirt, she is thought to be desperate. My main concern is why these gender stereotypes ever began in the first place. In reality, what do these stereotypes offer to our society?

We are taught by society to follow these rules. Whether it is your teacher, parent, colleague, or peer, telling you your actions are not appropriate based on your gender, they learned it from society as well. Even though I never felt pressured by society to change myself because of my gender, I see how cultural expectations have distorted my view along with the rest of the crowd. It took some maturing for me to realize that not every guy is going to act like the manly tough guy you imagine. And it took even more maturing for me to realize that not every guy is supposed to act that way. Because nowhere is it written in our DNA that boys act like this and girls act like that, but for whatever reason, we grow up to believe it somehow is. I also must admit that I have made some very gender stereotypical statements. I would make remarks commenting on how non-masculine that cardigan made that guy look, or suggest that girls with six packs didn’t appear as feminine.

Of course, this ridiculous and judgmental mindset did not last long for me. I realized how unfair it is to put people in specific categories, all because of their gender. And I knew how unappreciative I would feel if I had to alter who I was, only because aspects of my personality did not fit my gender. I am fortunate to not feel restrained by gender stereotypes. This is partly because most of my characteristics fit within the stereotypical female standard, and although I have experienced situations in which I was not acting “proper”, it was not something earth shattering to really affect my life.

When I was in fifth grade, I had fun going around the classroom and arm-wrestling the boys in my class. I loved the attention I got for winning, or even coming close to winning against a male student (and what eleven year old girl doesn’t enjoy holding hands with a boy for a few minutes?). The boys enjoyed this harmless game as well, because they were impressed at how strong I truly was. But one time after school, when I exclaimed to my mom all the fun I had arm-wrestling the boys in my class, my mom, a very non-judgmental woman, laughed and said “Arm-wrestling isn’t ladylike”.

While my mom had not been using these words to hurt my now growing ego (which was probably getting a tad too big anyway), they stuck in my mind and came out of my mouth the next day when a boy asked me to arm-wrestle. Now, I was nowhere near the typical “tomboy” stereotype you’d give to an elementary school girl. In fact, I was the epitome of a “girly-girl”. And for whatever reason, I guess I felt the need to stick within the standard of what was required of a “girly-girl”. The thought of doing something unladylike frightened me so much it stopped me from playing a game I loved. My friends and I would constantly discuss who were “girly-girls” and who were “tomboys” in our group. The fact that even at a young age we were labeling each other based on what we liked to do is a scary thought. Of course, neither one was a bad label. My friends that played soccer liked the idea that they were considered a “tomboy”, and my Barbie obsessed self had no problem being known as a “girly-girl”. But we still felt the need to claim these titles, and I still cannot understand why.

 Maybe it was a way to define ourselves at a young age. After all, you don’t truly know who you are at eleven, and stamping a label on our forehead that characterized our girly-ness was the only way we could think of to describe our personalities. But the idea that adults in our society still feel the need to use labels and categorize people based on gender is insulting. We are an intelligent society, witnessing individuals accomplishing amazing goals every day, regardless of what gender they are. Judging people based on gender is an old and unsophisticated way to view the world.

Fortunately, our society has started maturing. Or maybe I have just learned more adjectives to use to describe myself. But in all seriousness, our society has tilted their head and closed their eyes to the old views of gender stereotypes. Scenarios that are common now, would not have occurred years ago, back when people thought every girl and boy must fit the specific criteria model. For instance, it is now acceptable for a guy to be scared of an ugly spider, and hate football. And it is the same vice versa for girls. While rude opinions regarding what is or isn’t ladylike still float out the mouths of closed-minded individuals, a majority of our society is changing their views and finally seeing things clearly. Parents do not care if their four year old son wants to play with a Barbie doll, and girls with manicured nails are joining wrestling teams in high school. Because the colors we like, the games we play, the clothes we wear, and the fears we have do not define our gender, they describe who we are as people. Our society is realizing that humans don’t have to be represented by their gender. When it really comes down to it, gender means nothing.

This shift in the way our society views gender stereotypes helps people everywhere. You should not stop doing something you love, all because of your gender. Think of all the women, from long ago, that wanted to work as lawyers and doctors, but didn’t because they knew no one would take them seriously all because of their gender. And today some of the best surgeons and lawyers are women. Or the men that are fantastic fashion designers. What would we do if we didn’t have Christian Louboutin to make gorgeous red bottom heals? If anything, gender stereotypes stop our society from blossoming into the wonderful and creative people we truly are. With the changes in how we view gender, we are opening the doors of infinite possibilities for everyone and anyone.

It is clear that gender stereotyping is an immature way of thinking. Humans are not molds that must be framed specifically by their gender. Our society taught us to view aspects of the world as male and female as we grew up, but finally things are starting to change. The same way we learned that life is not all black and white, we realized everything is not boy or girl either. Living in a society that is not biased based on gender, can only be beneficial. People now have more opportunities, and are less judgmental. If we can have everyone feeling free to express themselves in any way they please, then we are living in a healthy society. As we open our minds with open arms to the many different types of people, we grow together. Because to me, it’s refreshing to see a guy wearing a bright pink shirt, and if you disagree, maybe we should settle this with an arm wrestle.